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Real members of myHSteam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.

How Do I Become Intimate With A Person With This Mess Of A Body?

A myHSteam Member asked a question 💭
Indianapolis, IN

After my late husband, I have not had an intimate relationship because of fear, shame and anxiety. It’s been years and I’m so lonely. I don’t know how to move forward…

April 27
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A myHSteam Member

It's completely normal to feel apprehensive about intimacy when dealing with HS, but remember, your self-worth isn't defined by your physical condition. Here are some steps to help you communicate and maintain intimacy with a partner:

1. **Start with Self-Acceptance**: Recognize your own value and understand that intimacy Show Full Answer

It's completely normal to feel apprehensive about intimacy when dealing with HS, but remember, your self-worth isn't defined by your physical condition. Here are some steps to help you communicate and maintain intimacy with a partner:

1. **Start with Self-Acceptance**: Recognize your own value and understand that intimacy starts with a positive relationship with yourself.

2. **Open Communication**: Gently introduce your condition to your partner. Explain what HS is, how it affects you, and what they might expect during flare-ups. This honesty can build trust and understanding.

3. **Focus on Comfort**: Share with your partner what feels good and what doesn’t, especially during flare-ups. This can help in focusing on the enjoyable aspects of intimacy.

4. **Seek Support**: Engaging in communities like myHSteam can provide additional support and advice from others who understand your situation.

5. **Professional Guidance**: Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate these feelings and improve your self-image and communication skills.

Remember, intimacy is not just physical; it's also about emotional and mental connections.

April 27
A myHSteam Member

I fear that humiliation. I’m so sorry you have to go through this…

April 27
A myHSteam Member

I'm the same way I'm so embarrassed of my body I've lost a lot of weight and that don't help I was with my boyfriend 4 years and he's just walked out because I'm can't get naked in front of him 😭

April 27
A myHSteam Member

I'm so sorry. I share your embarrassment. My issues are mostly in my groin which gives me an extreme fear of intimacy with a new person. Stay strong and remember that HS is not something you can control. It has nothing to do with your hygiene or the person you are. AND it's not contagious. Be the beautiful person you seem. If a potential partner doesn't like it then they weren't meant for you.

You got this girl!

Thomas

April 27

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